Photo by Christy Zigweid (all rights reserved)
Many times a day I ask myself “What is right?” What is right thing to do? The right thing to say? The right way to act? The right way to feel? The right way to behave? The right way to...(fill in the blank). And as I’m sitting here tonight I am asking myself those questions. Parenting has been very challenging lately. My emotions are out of whack with a medicine transition, and my chronic pain is seemingly getting worse although we are trying physical therapy for the pain.
Today it was all I could do to make breakfast. I rested a lot today; rested my mind and my body.
I have so many projects waiting that need my attention from home projects to daily living chores and to many creative projects. I know they will all get done sometime but when the chronic pain and low mood set in, it’s hard to get anything done.
Though on the verge of tears and wanting to jump out of my skin, I am thankful for my husband and my kids, who understand and help when needed. And I am thankful for my social media friends who post mood boosting posts and share their stories of everyday living.
A solution will be found in time. I do have faith in that. And I have faith in my medical care team to make the right decisions. As my friend @kevinhinesstory says, #hopehelpsheal and remember to #beheretomorrow and ever day after that!
We live in a culture where women (and stay-at-home dads or single dads) are conditioned to believe we should “do it all.” We should have the perfect marriage, children, job, and home. The old cliche of suburban America is still ripe within our culture. Time and time again, we see this portrayed in our own lives as well as television, movies and books. My question is why?
What women do on a daily basis to take care of their families is admirable. Regardless of whether we are stay-at-home moms or working moms, we all want one thing: what’s best for our families.
While I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for eight years, there’s one thing that makes me bristle: supermoms. Now before you get all huffy and start shouting obscenities or writing hate mail, just hear me out.
Why Being a Supermom Isn’t a Good Idea When You Have a Mental Illness
1. You stretch yourself too thin, unable to take care of yourself too
I’m a huge advocate for taking care of yourself, especially mentally. Taking care of ourselves is something as women we often neglect, regardless of whether we are married or single, with or without kids. We often think we need to sacrifice ourselves for our kids.
Selfish as it may seem, I won’t sacrifice my health or who I am as a person just to show I can do it all. Because the truth is…I don’t want to do it all. If I stretch myself so thin, what good am I as a parent and a wife?
2. You feed into competitiveness
There is fierce competitiveness between women, especially in regard to parenting. Many of the moms I’ve been around are nearly intolerable. They are rude and catty, and many are phony. They are peacocks, flashing their feathers, saying, “Look at me! See how good I can be. I have a perfect life. I have the perfect kids.” And should the truth be known, behind closed doors, it’s a very different picture.
Women gossip and compare their kids, there is no denying it. And while I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never done this, I refuse to speak those thoughts out loud and play the game. I have no desire to feed into their comments: “I’m a better home-school teacher than you.” “My kids have created cooler crafts.” “Oh, look what my special kids did today.” “My kids don’t eat that.” “My kids don’t do that.”
3. You feel obligated to over-schedule your life and your kids
There is a need in the modern American family to constantly be going and be involved. In our fast-paced lives, we rarely slow down and take the time to relax. The day starts very early in the morning and ends late at night, leaving us feeling exhausted physically and emotionally, only to get up and do it again the next day, not realizing how thin we wear ourselves down. I think it’s important to teach our kids balance between obligations, fun, and taking care of ourselves.
“Trying to be Supermom is as futile as trying to be Perfect Mom. Not going to happen. ~ Arianna Huffington ~
Sound off, give me your thoughts on this situation. I look forward to reading your comments!
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No material on this website can be used without permission. All Rights Reserved. Christy Zigweid - 2018
**I am not a licensed counselor nor a medical doctor and the views on this website are solely mine. **
If you are in crisis and need immediate medical assistance, call 911 or the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273- (TALK) 8255 or text "Start" to 741-741